Can you actually find it, is it taught or learned?
I am not an expert by ANY means on giving advice concerning contentment or anything else for that matter so rest assured that even as I write this, I have a daily and life long battle of being truly content physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I was asked to give a self esteem talk to a group of 8-11 age girls and I was NOT prepared for the task before me. What I had been taught all my life about contentment was no longer enough to battle the pressures of today's world. I talked of course about learning to be content with being vertically challenged, that being a grown adult under 5 feet has its ups/downs, the fact that I had brown eyes and curly hair. It was very naive of me to think that these things were anything close to what these precious souls had to compete with. One girl started talking loudly that you could wear contacts, dye your hair, get a breast augmentation, buy high heels and on and on she went about all the things she could change to FIX what was wrong with her. My heart started pounding inside my chest what could I-little me, say to make a BIG difference. What if this sweet child could not afford to perform all these acts of self improvement or after she did she still wasn't content, then what?
Think with me for a moment, True or False we want something, we then work, ask, steal, manipulate or create that object of our affection. Are we then content because we have worked so hard to obtain it and feel satisfied?
Or
If we think before hand, I really want ..... (you fill in the blank) so I ponder WHY do I feel the need to have this? Am I assuming it will bring me joy? Am I replacing a empty hole inside? Do I think people will love me more or want to spend time with me if I have this or look like this? You answer the above questions honestly and realize its not a need per say, just a desire that is possibly unhealthy at this moment because of the motives and live without it. Does this bring contentment because you have mastered your desire?
Ok!!!! you have learned to live without A, B and C and your on a path of right motives and working hard for the right reasons and you end up acquiring all the above things you once desired anyway. Maybe in a different size or color but still in the same ball park so NOW are you content?
"I saw this dress I really wanted today but I didn't get it and it wasn't like in the past when I would be resentful because I could not have what I wanted but for the first time there was something more important that I wanted to do with my money that allowed me to walk away being content with what I already had".
AWWWWWW value in something more significant allows a seed of contentment to breed inside us.
It comes up all the time-how do I learn to be content. Contentment vs Happiness vs Joy, it may not be as easy as adding or subtracting that equals the perfect end result. None of us are exempt from the thoughts of wanting what we don't have in any area of our life and we manifest the symptoms of discontentment different then others. Some internally struggle some externally scream look at me. It is highly probable that all issues of discontentment are initiated from that lovely word and feeling we pretend not to have, FEAR!!!!
Fear of maybe losing what we once had or working so hard to achieve. Fear we may never have what we have so longed for. Fear of ourselves or others, fear of letting go of so much we lose sight of who we were or fear of who we will become.
The contentment battle begins before we can even spell the word. We can see it anywhere and everywhere if we stop to observe children- they notice someone or something they don't have or do have, but want more of and off they go with plans to obtain what they desire either with brute force, manipulation or whatever tools is available for them to use to get what they want. This skill of resourcefulness is what I have patted myself on the back for having all these years and told myself or was told by others or society that it is a GOOD character trait to have or be blessed with. I am not disagreeing, however THE REASON for wanting what I don't have may be the ingredient that has led to discontentment.
So when my I phone camera changes from taking a picture to me looking at myself and what I see staring back at me opens the flood gates of discontentment what do I do? When my child is throwing a tantrum in public AGAIN, what do I do? When my house is always dirty or work is tiresome and bills still can not get paid, what do I do?
Why do I need a flawless face, perfect husband, house, car, body, child, job etc........... Are my reasons to glorify myself, be glorified by others or glorify my God. Hmmmmmmmm When I stopped trying to manipulate and started to listen and really look deep at the reasoning for wanting, it was all selfish desire and mostly FEAR. Yes at times it was out of necessity and my fight or flight personality but let's be honest in careful analysis of some tough times, my fight has been to control out of fear and not being CONTENT.
If acknowledging our faults is the first step to creating change, NOW WHAT?
What is the magic formula that we all look for on how to fix ourselves?
This + this = contentment!
Not Magic but insight-fulness, reasoning and evaluating with purposeful, intentional and cognitive awareness of the Why's behind the Wants will help direct a heart away from the gloom of discontentment.
