The constant battle of pulling in the opposite direction of something or someone else is exhausting and unrewarding. The battle began with me in high school playing tug a war with the culture, the rules, the standards and the normality of being a teenager. The game continued with the relationship between my siblings and my parents, gripping with both hands against the ones that loved me the most.
Fast forwarding through many years of relationships, then to my marriage and now my parenting and the pattern has continued. I would of placed this skill in the strength column of my personality, however it has occurred to me that the constant tugging leads to fraying. Fraying the spirit and fraying relationships!
The callouses from the rope is proof that I have struggled and I am thankful for the reminder but now when I look at my open hands I am reminded they were meant for letting go NOT holding on.
Releasing the grip is also allowing me to love unconditionally without the Acceptance Based Performance Love. The kind of love that now says I am letting go and your going to fall and that's OK because life is about falling and getting back up again.
I want to model life skills to my children for getting up with grace, providing the tool to handle life's disappointments with maturity and the courage to be bold without tugging the rope of opposition but standing firm in the rapids of a wishy washy controversial society! I want the calloused hands to show love, patience, kindness, gentleness NOT squeezing, controlling, anxiety ridden clenched fist.  | |
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