Inhale girl... then reply.. you have been here before and you will be here again.
"Coach when or if you do have children you will learn that they are NOT you, they are a glimpse of you and may have some attributes of you but they are NOT you". I have learned this lesson the hard way, by pushing my daughter away instead of embracing and supporting who she is. (click to watch video below)
Do you see any smiling? Um.... that would be a NO and it could be because more then likely she is not having fun. I thought it was fun, clearly from the loud screaming, but looking back maybe not so much for her. Then it was ice skating, horse back riding, soccer, volleyball, kids boot camp class, swim team and karate all of which she states she does not enjoy.
Frustrated and feeling like a failure as a mother because my daughter does not have a THING. A sport, a plan, a desire to win and play hard, a team to push her, she will not get a scholarship or find true happiness without her....... blah blah blah......... STOP just stop. My daughter's happiness does not depend on her having a room full of trophies. She will only remember me screaming at her on the field, court or pool side and the feeling I may be leaving with her is, she is never good enough.
I can not take that chance, her spirit is worth more to me then my ridiculous goals of her obtaining a scholarship. Refocusing on what really matters helps find the true desire of a child's soul.
New parenting strategy. Be available for everything, truly listen, stop what your doing to look, don't push your own agenda, be sensitive to change and soften your voice to encourage. Magic Happened! What I discovered is a young women passionately in love with creation, wildly connected to animals and fiercely intend on learning about all living things.
I would of missed the most important thing about my job as a mother if I would of kept to my original plan. How sad that would of been! She may not be me and I am sooo glad she is not because she is SO much more.
What an adventure to live in her shoes and how boring it would of been to re create my life in her. We do not need to correct the mistakes we made through our kids lives or try to make up for what we didn't have. It is about who they are and who they need us to be for that to happen.
