What do I hope my kids learn from tragedy, from chaos, from violence, from death, from cruelty, from unfairness, from ME, with the time we have been given?
I need to be honest the statement "The Joy Of Motherhood" has rarely been an experience of mine, not for any reason except that I have not allowed myself to be joyful.
Most of the time I feel burdened with sadness for the injustice in this life, spending my energy and time wanting to teach my kids something rather then listening or allowing them to explore and learn.
Most of the time I feel burdened with sadness for the injustice in this life, spending my energy and time wanting to teach my kids something rather then listening or allowing them to explore and learn.
I heard her say to her brother " Kendyl, you know we have a brother, he is in heaven and we will meet him one day".
The air stuck to my ribs as I jerked the steering wheel to avoid an accident. I can not even tell you his response, because I was still struggling to breathe. My mind flashes to an image of a now 15 year old boy that is waiting to meet his family for the first time.
So many things he has experienced before me and ALL the pain he has avoided not living in a fallen world made me smile and take that much needed exhale.
"Right mom you had a baby die in your belly", she keeps talking as if she is talking about the weather. I realized she is comforted by the fact she has an older brother watching out for her and she wanted her younger brother to know too.
I never thought about it from a sibling side only from a mothers side of pain and loss. Loss to one person but gain in the another way...now so clear. "When a window closes God opens a door"! I have only used this cliche to comfort me in situations that didn't hurt this bad.
The truth of the situation hit me, this is what I want my kids to learn from me and how I find the Joy in Motherhood.
Look for God's handy work in the midst of deep sorrow and pain, look for his people to pour love into hate, look for smiles in the midst of frowns, seek his guidance when all else fails.
Look for God's handy work in the midst of deep sorrow and pain, look for his people to pour love into hate, look for smiles in the midst of frowns, seek his guidance when all else fails.
There will always be suffering, death, destruction and malice and the ONLY peace we can obtain, is the peace within ourselves, that peace that surpasses all understanding, peace that bridges the gap between all races, color, nationality or income brackets.
No person, no TV show, no radio broadcaster, no other human being or idea or plan or vote or book can protect the soul from darkness except the one that created LIGHT.
  |
John 8:12 I Am the Light of the World |
My oldest son may have only felt my heart beat without physically seeing my quirky smile, or heard my obnoxious laugh but he already knows the depth of me and we will be together one day in the glorious presence of a Father that loves all and knows all.
Until we are reunited son, my love only grows deeper and deeper with each passing day.
Love Mom
