Define Special Needs

I will never forget the first time someone labeled my daughter as "special needs". WHAT does that mean? When I was a therapist, we loved labels, it helped us know what to expect from a child and how to treat them but as a mother I did NOT like that term used for my sweet little girl.

NOW ..................................

I am so grateful to have a special needs child, she teaches me the true definition of loving unconditionally, that tone of voice matters, that eye contact is valuable and that down time is sacred. 

I shutter to think the kind of mother I would of been without all the lessons I have learned from her.  

I would of taken so many things for granted and allowed time to escape without stopping to really SEE her. 

She has taught me to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN like the fireman tell you to do when you see a fire.  That is what happen to me, I saw a fire in her and I had to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN. 

STOP blaming, or searching for the whys, stop wondering or worrying. 

Stop being anger at her all the time. Stop being angry in general. Stop listening to every one's advice. Stop trying to figure out what was wrong and missing SO many things that were right. Stop refusing help.

LOOK at who I was inside and out. Look for the ways I could change instead of trying to change her. Look at ways I could make her life more comfortable. Look up to Christ instead of at the world.

LISTEN to her. Listen to the subtle signs that being too busy we often overlook. Listen to the unspoken cry of a child in need of a mommy.

So really I believe ALL kids are special needs. They all have special individual needs that as a parent we have to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN to. 

 

Oct 5, 2008-Journal Entry to my Son

Oct 5, 2008

Kendyl, 

Son, you are my sweet boy. You saw mommy crying and ran to the kitchen to get a tissue and said "you all better now" and gave me a kiss. 

Your sister has been dealing with some mental health issues and you have been so patient and kind as we learn how to parent her. 

You still have no interest in being potty trained but oh well we will get there buddy. 

Love,

Mommy

My son's smile was a shining light in a dark cave, his soft voice and sweet kisses could transcend me out of a gloomy fog!

I will never forget him and I  hiding under the bed because Skyler was having an episode and we were both scared.  I wanted to distract him so he did not have to hear her screaming, so we hid under the bed and as I held him tight rocking side to side singing Amazing Grace I could feel his heart beat slow down.

Praise God the time has past that we have to hide under the bed.  Kendyl loves his sister so much that when he is older and can comprehend what role he needs to play in her life to be a BIG LITTLE BROTHER I will tell him all about it but for now I will enjoy the contagiuos giggles between the two.

Each day holds a new journey of sibling rivarly that we have to embrace with laughter and grace.