Ungratefulness-The Mind of A Child

I came up with a great excuse, in my head, NOT to write about being grateful. I told myself everyone else was writing about it, so.... I was off the hook. It is hard to write about something you can barely do yourself. Saying thank you and having a grateful spirit is two very different things, in my (for what its worth) opinion.

BUT.... when my son spoke his mind after learning that he had a 5 day weekend coming up, I realized I needed to write this post for myself, to be reminded that I also have a mind of a child.  His response: "Man I wish it was 6 days off!" 

I thought there it is......the just one more day, just a little bigger house, just a few less wrinkles, just another 10 pounds, just a new man/women, a kid that listens, a kid that can play sports well, a newer car, a yard, pool, bangs,shoes, purses, on and on and on it goes. The mind of a child is not just six years old's IT IS ALL OF US!

 

When does it ever stop? How can we be productive and mature when we are stunted by our own lack of gratitude. The very first thoughts running through my mind and that continue running like a commercial song stuck in my head is IF ONLY. Honestly I am challenging myself and all that take time to read this, that we would be NOT just list off the things we are thankful for BUT to listen to that voice in our heads speaking negative thoughts all day driving us to want just one more day off. When you become aware of the time lost thinking of what we don't have, we can open the mind and heart to ALL the glorious things, time and people that we do have in our life.  


This is NOT going to be easy. I have enjoyed the company of anger and bitterness way too long and it has become a companion. It is always by my side, stuck like glue to my spirit, it is a heavy burden that I have carried far too long. To release it would be like losing a partner but to keep it any longer would be losing myself to despair.  Letting go of hurt and pain that feeds on my soul and that eats at the table of Donna Fisher's heart will be a huge step in the grateful direction I so desire this Thanksgiving.



The ability to take this first step will change my effectiveness to teach gratefulness to my children. I am on the road to releasing and I have a feeling it is quite bumpy and I will return to hiding under a rock but praying for the courage to keep drowning out the feelings of JUST ONE MORE, keeping the MIND OF A CHILD where it belongs.......... in 6 year olds.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Looking Back!

My sister giving birth to her son today propelled me into the past.  I have stepped back in time to the day my Sky entered the world. The intense rush of emotions that flood your body all at once can never be forgotten.
Hours of brutal labor and pain does not take away the treasure of that first glance into the eyes of your child.

Time holds still for those first moments and nothing can burst the bubble your floating in, the surreal rawness of total vulnerability. 







How has today come so fast and that moment been so easily forgotten? I am grateful for today when I have been able to reflect back and linger in the past.

Being the oldest of three and the last to have children, the news of not being able to have children hit me hard. I remember this phrase:
"How many times Lord have you heard me cry out and you have gave me strength" by Plumb

The news was obviously inaccurate since several years later I was pregnant, but only after redirecting my life to focus not on my desire but setting aside my so-called plan and walk in faith, was the possibility a possibility.

Those moments of deep sadness and searching changed the way I received the news I was pregnant. In awe struck wonder I praised God for a chance to try again.  He granted that prayer 9 month later with a beautiful baby girl.

 
The month of November reminds us to be thankful in ALL things; the barren womb, the fertile ground, the easy traveled road or the bumpy path, the empty account, the full pantry, the old, the new and all that lies in between. The child that thinks abstractly and the one that made it to heaven first, the man that I call dad and the family that calls me beloved. The hand-me downs, the left overs, the smirks, the frowns and the genuine smiles. Thanksgiving in all shapes, sizes, places and faces be blessed this Thanksgiving Season!