I love the way my son LOVES my daughter!

 I think to myself, it can NOT be easy for him to ride the roller coaster of instability, the ups/downs of his sister's fluctuating moods.  It can NOT be easy to always be careful when she becomes upset or hide when she is angry. It can NOT be easy to listen to the screaming and it can NOT be easy waiting and waiting and waiting for her to get dressed. 

Where does that kind of patience, endurance and love come from? She says sorry for the thousandth time for hurting his feelings and in his sweet voice "its OK Skywer"! It can NOT be easy accepting apologies over and over for the same thing. It can NOT be easy to not hit back or use words that cut to the bone. Where does that kind of tolerance come from? Is it learned or innate?

How does he keep giving in and giving up to her ideas and tactics without wanting his voice to be heard or his turn? It can NOT be easy to get less time with mommy and daddy, less attention to detail  less direction...... less less less may be what helps give more more more. The spirit of a patient, compassionate and selfless soul is hard to teach. 

Will the time come when staying, listening, giving and being THE kid that gives in be too much come to an end?  Will the bond that was once there be able to sustain more years of sensory meltdowns and compromise? 

My mind floods with ways to intervene and control the environment, to try and provide some kind of stability, but is this the BEST way? Does having a stable, perfect life produce stable, perfect kids? I know the answer, but does not stop a mom from thinking it. 

My fear shows its ugly head by allowing what could happen later change how I parent. Can I release the apprehension of the future and live in today? Loving how my son loves my daughter, fostering consistent boundaries, providing opportunities for his growth and acknowledging his temperament to compromise. 

Today I will enjoy my son's easy nature in which he can change plans in a moment without a meltdown, celebrate his ability to amuse himself during the waiting and thanking God for a son that loves his sister well right now.  

I do not have a manual for the rest of this story but I have an idea for today, speaking truth, being open, allowing for chaos, moving toward simplicity, striving for more laughter and releasing my own fear and tension of the uncontrollable outcome of tomorrow. Trusting the Lord that gave me the gift of motherhood that he knows Best. God's got this, he already has the blue prints and I need to rest in his assurance.

I LOVE the way my son loves my daughter and I pray it never changes, that he will learn HOW to love deeper because she needs him to LOVE her just the way she is. 

Kendyl Clayton Fisher may your heart follow the one who wrote the book on how to love and may your life be a life that others will say "He loved us well".