Every one has prior experience with 

"THE WAIT"

Waiting for that bowl of ice cream till you finish your broccoli, the agonizing wait of the school bus (if you were that kid), the wait for dinner to be ready, the breathless wait for the positive pregnancy test, the anticipated wait for that special person, the timeless wait for biopsy results, the parent waiting for the seeds they sowed to produce fruit after years of tireless laboring, the waiting by a loved ones bedside slumping and exhausted as they took their last breath or simply waiting for the fog to lift to see the sun. 

I can remember several distinct waiting moments that chiseled character in me. The kind of waiting that drops you to your knees and cry out in desperation. 
 

What does waiting produce in us? What do we do during the waiting? What's our vice?  Who will we be after the waiting, Bitter or grateful? 

I remember years ago and it has stayed with me all this time. A speaker said, he never slept when he was burdened, he would lay awake worrying about the ongoing suffering in this world. He finally learned to let go of that burden because it was not his to bear and was encouraging us to rest so we can be ready. In my waiting I have learned to rest. In waiting I have also found unsurpassed joy which is contrary to what the world screams at us.

The doctor said the scary "C" word (cancer) but I was too young to for this to happen to ME, I wanted a family. I was alone not only in that room but in life by my own choices. My lifestyle kept me alone to avoid rejection and pain. He got it all so it doesn't really matter RIGHT? Did I learn in the waiting way back then?

"The baby does not have a heart beat", we will call you with the results. The longest, hardest wait of my entire existence was that weekend, rubbing my belly begging God for answers. Did I learn in the wait? 

She said with a smile on her face "we will call you with the results" after she hacked away on multiple areas of my body with what looked like a box knife

She got it all after the third round so does it really matter now? Did I learn from this wait? 

Do I have to wait for the call to start the transformation? 

I waited faintly as my mind drifted through the fog of pain for him to say, "it's a _____", but all I heard a tense voice say "oxygen needed" and felt the hairs on my air stand straight up as I observed frantic nurses but felt helpless. I changed my mind about caring if it was a boy or girl, now all I wanted to hear was "it was going to be OK"! 17 hours of laboring, waiting, crying, pushing, did I learn in the wait?

The lesson soaked into my pores like a dehydrated sponge, defining importance became very simple - we make it so darn complicated. 

Open your grip, release the expectations, free the societal constraints. I am afraid to admit I want to stay in this frozen time of waiting so I don't lose my perspective of what's truly important, so I don't fall back into complacency and trapped by own anger and fear. 

"Now we wait" the doctor said, 48hours! The phone will ring, the results spoken, please Lord help me to stay forever changed no matter what the results. My husband lying in ICU every moment being monitored for brain function. Then nurse says if he makes it through the night without a brain bleed we are out of the woods. The darkness hung on like a rain cloud, the time ticked slowly by as I remembered rest so you can be ready. The sun burst though the darkness, the lesson revealed, I learned from the past waiting!

It pops back up like a jack in the box, the waiting. It was a tumor not a cyst we will call you with the results. This time is no different then the lifetime of waiting before. I will rest so I can be ready and I know when I am weary he will carry me! 

The Footprints Prayer

One night I had a dream...

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, There was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, You would walk with me all the way; But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, There is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me.

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child. I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.