Character Training 101

As human beings we all have character flaws. Some flaws we are born with, (part of our DNA), others we acquire with time and experiences. As a parent what tools can or do we use when we notice a character flaw in our child. Having a daughter with Asperger's takes parenting to a new level because the supposedly flaws are not part of having bad character but part of not knowing or the ability to understand BUT for my son..... however, when flaws show up it is a character issue that needs some TLC.  

That moment when we see the dishonesty, the selfish, the prideful, the angry or the entitlement monster rear it ugly head from the face of our precious child shows us that,  a child's response shows the condition of the heart. How can a mother change the course of action in parenting, that penetrates to the core being of who they will become as adults? 

If we discipline the action but don't address the spirit who will the child be when no one is around? If we accomplish a response of "yes Mama", does it guarantee they become polite adults? If the goal is to just change the action, will they be able to apply appropriate life skills to tough situations? The days are coming when the pressure will mount and the core values of character will be challenged.

I asked my son to please go get his friend a drink out of the frig and his response was, with a smirk and sassy tone "I am not his slave". I responded "No your not, but he is a guest, so what do you think would be a great way to show your friend that he has value and you appreciate him coming over to play with you"?  The lack of response was enough of a response for me to realize that I have a very small window of time, not to force or demand but to guide and direct my son into having a servants heart. A man that takes honor and pride in serving others not being served.  I suddenly remembered a verse my mom would quite often quote growing up, or course then it was like a tornado siren to my ear but now it is sunshine to my rain.  

 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 

I acknowledge that this is taken out of a passage that is meant for us to study as a whole, but for starters I am using this as the first building block to my sons training course in Character Training 101.

 

Let the training begin! NO better place to start then being thankful, grateful & overwhelmed with gladness for what we have been given. Think about what makes you thankful...... when you have lost something you cherished or had to learn to do things a little different because the easy way had been lost or unavailable.  I have found myself extremely grateful when I realized that what I had could be gone in a instant.

Finding constructive ways to open my son eyes to the comforts that he has been given and allowing him to see that he has taken for granted the resources that may not always be there. Loving him enough to start showing him what we all chance to lose without a perspective of humility, so..... not if he experiences loss in life but when he does, he can find his way back to humanity with our grateful spirit in tact. Like the song Amazing Grace "I was lost but now I am found, I was blind but now I see".  Opening his eyes to the reality that life is a blink and EVERY decision counts.

The first step for me as teacher, is to do my own heart check-He cannot learn what is not seen and lived out in me. May this day and everyday after be a day that he sees humility and servant hood in me. For there has been NO greater joy in my life then to have given away my very soul but to have received back ten folds the blessings.