August 22, 2010-Journal Entry to my Daughter

August 22, 2010

Tomorrow is your first day of kindergarten! So amazing to me that you will be in school all day. Mommy is so scared and sad but excited for you to grow and learn.  The doctors have helped us make the decision to put you in regular full time school and see how you do. I want to go to school with you everyday to guide and protect you but I know that would only hold you back. 

First School Picture

You lost another top tooth and you look so cute with a gap. We had a great summer together, you have become quite the little swimmer. Your long arms just glide through the water. You look very relaxed and peaceful when you swim. The water seems to have a calming effect. So proud of how hard you work. 

I love you baby girl,

Mommy









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I felt like I was suffocating in the dreams that had become cruel mirages and  the naive hope had started to melt but now it is hard to say I have any regret for the struggles in my life because it has created a new life in me.


I could not of imagined, on that first day of school, that we would be well into 1st grade with a affectionate, loving, brilliant and flourishing young women. A child that has friends and thinks of others. A contagious smile and loving demeanour. When your told all the above is not possible then you dispel the myth your eyes can only look up!

The routine that has been part of our life for the past couple years, the change in the way we teach her, the effort we put in to limit overload and to consistently give her enough rest, helps her handle what her mind tells her she can't. The commitment to love her in a new way, a better way, has given all of us new life.
She taught us how to let go and just LOVE! Take away the expectations and the PLANS we had and just LOVE!