April 2008-Journal Entry

As moms we can all remember back to the major mommy mistakes we have made and some we may continue to make. My major mommy mistake #2 almost caused my daughter her life.

Skyler,

Mommy gave you cashews by accident today, and since you did not have an immediate reaction, we left the house to go to the mall. I was very irresponsible to leave the house without your EPI-Pen or Benedryl. The doctor told us you were allergic to cashews but that it is possible for kids to grow out of it so when your lips turned a little red but no other symptoms I assumed this is what the doctor must have been talking about. 

Within 30 minutes of walking around the mall your stomach began to cramp, and you were unable to stand upright. By the time we returned to the car you  went unconscious. This was so scary! Mommy had to slap you a couple times to get you to stay with us. 

Mommy was frantically screaming your name all the way to the emergency room. You still, quiet, lifeless body made me stop and realize what a precious gift you are.

God was slapping me at the same time waking me up. I prayed that God will continue to protect you and his angels will surround you. 

I am so sorry sweet girl. I love you

Mommy

 

A mothers heart will break a dozen times and it hurts all the more when it is your lack of judgment and poor decision making that causes the heart break. Sitting in the hospital with her as she opened her eyes with such a sweet smile, I begged her to forgive me and she says quietly "It's OK Mommy".  

This is not the first mistake, it is not the last mistake and it is definitely not the only time I will have to ask my daughter to forgive me but hopefully as we forgive each other we are reminded of how much we ALL have been forgiven.