I was married at 18 divorced at 21 and....
Lord,
This is suppose to be the beginning of a new life, so why don't I feel good? Freedom is not all it's cracked up to be. I am glad to have space to be myself. I have enjoyed getting to know myself! If I could let go of my fears.
Em I selfish? or is it fear of losing that I hold back. I need to make a decision to develop new morals and values and to live life to it's fullest. Be a good person and keep smiling.
My divorce papers came today and boy does that hurt. I am a statistic! Urge!!! Why couldn't I have been a better, more honest wife? Why couldn't I have made him happy? Why? Why?Why?-Help! Sometimes severe depression overloads me.
God help me to live with the choices I have made. What the hell am I doing here? Feelings are such a passing thing, how can anyone live by such a wishy washy thing. I want to live my life not by feeling but by truth. Man I am pretty lonely all I have to go home to is Chemistry. Maybe I will go out! Who knows who cares?
It is amazing what 10 plus years will do to a a person-You grow up or grow bitter. I hope and pray I am growing up! Reading this in 2011, I have to reflect on fact that my life took a tail spin downhill in the next couple years but it eventually brought me here. Moving out of Daytona Beach to Ocala then to Gainesville Fl. was a part of God's greater plan for the life I now lead in Dallas, TX. and reading how Christ used everyone in my life to get me here is so outstanding. I thought about a statement I made on that day that I wanted to be a GOOD person and how that is such a false perception for so many of us have. What exactly is a GOOD person?
Trust me living on the beach was breathtaking. Starting my day at with a run by the water, then taking my shoes off and diving in the ocean, walking home and getting ready for work were some of the best times of my life BUT I knew after moving from home to home, working in the mall and attending a Community College just living for the next thrill was NOT my future, I had to get out of Daytona Beach. Where, how , what, Help!
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