The Struggles of 2007 -Part 2

I thought sitting at the park on the curb waiting for someone to rescue me from my own daughter was something to write about but then Episode two changed my perspective on everything.

Going places with both kids by myself did not happen very often because Skyler became so unpredictable. "You can not live in a bubble" I told myself so I proceeded to take my chances and take my kids to the mall. I thought there are other people there I could get help if needed and maybe the distraction would be good for all of us. Patrick and I had started arguing over which one would have to care for Skyler and sadly neither of us wanted to be with her, mainly out of fear of the unknown and a lack of skills to handle her.

The mall that day was not crowded and soft music played. We enjoyed the waterfalls, indoor ducks and had a yummy snack. We did it I thought! No drama, no fits, no screaming, no outburst, I took a deep breath and started my journey to the exit.

The change in Skyler sometimes happens to quickly that you are unprepared in how to handle the situation. She started with the facial changes, the voice getting deeper then running off and finally the clothes started coming off.  All I could think was GOD HELP ME! She started running toward the door and I managed to get my son and we both quickly ran behind her. "If we can just make it to the car" my mind kept saying over and over. 

I will NEVER forget the moment my heart stopped beating. We had made it to the end of sidewalk and I could see the my car in front of me and my 3yr old daughter started running in a zig zag pattern out of control toward the main road with on coming traffic going about 40mph. I made a sudden irrational decision to ask my 1 1/2 yr old son to stand by the tree as I started chasing her crying and screaming loudly in a frantic voice SKYLER STOP SKYLER PLEASE STOP!  

Suddenly I realized that I had made the wrong decision and my sons life was in danger as well as my daughters and if anything happen to him I would blame her and myself. So I left my daughter in God's hands as she kept running toward traffic and I went back to my son and we held each other tight and prayed.

                             

                                                                                                                                        to be continued....

These are the precious moments as a mother you focus on and remember when things get tough